Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Yay, Me!
So I've been doing this Spark People thing for almost a week now and yesterday was the first day I managed to record EVERYTHING I ate. And I did great!! I'm so proud of me!!
Sunday, June 04, 2006
I hope you've done your seismic retro-fitting
This is a story. A true story about me. Once upon a time I was a little girl. I had a great life. Then my dad died. Apparently I ate everything in sight to deal with it. I don't know, I was seven. Then I got older. My family tried this, that, and the other to get me to lose weight. I don't much care for other people telling me what to do, even if they do have the best of intentions.
Now I'm even older than I was then. In May of 1995, I weighed 364 lbs. Then I had weight-loss surgery. The Roux-en-Y gastric bypass procedure. It was great! Unfortunately for me and the surgeon, I'm too smart. I passed their little psychological test that said I knew this wasn't a cure-all for my problems and that I had to learn healthy eating habits, exercise, blah blah blah. Except the "secret" me didn't believe that I guess. After a year, I had lost about 130 lbs. I never did start a fitness program. The man I loved came back from a mission for our church in August 1996. We had a brief courtship where I drove him insane and forced him to marry me in June of 1997. Here we are 9 years later and I weigh more now than I did before the surgery. A lot more.
Obviously, I am not happy about this. I am so screwed up that even though I had lost that 130 lbs. and seen people I went to high school with that didn't recognize me I looked so different, I still couldn't go through with attending our reunions. You can imagine how messed up I feel now! Then there's the mental health issues that I struggle with. Part of it's hereditary (my family tree is full of nuts!), part of it's because of my weight, and part of it is... the luck of the draw? I don't know. At least I don't smoke or feed my kids Pine-Sol laced applesauce, right?
So here's the plan. I've actually admitted to people other than myself how rotten I feel. How scared I am. How ashamed...
And here's what I'm going to do about it:
1) I am absolutely, for real this time, NOT going to eat at fast-food places, ever.
2) I have joined an online weight loss community called Spark People. I have some friends there. We motivate eachother.
3) I have to move it, move it. McDonald's gave me their Cardio DVD when I bought their Asian salad last week. Sure, it's only 15 minutes. But the sad truth is, I'll be lucky if I can last even that long.
4) Honey and I are going to do "the Hundred" every night right after we put the kids to bed. I'll probably do it a couple of other times during the day, too. But once is all I'll torture him with.
That's probably all I can handle.
I don't care who reads this. But my shame is so great right now that if you happen to be an immedate family member of mine and stumble across this, I will disown you if you mention it to me in person. If you feel the need to randomly complement me, however, please... be my guest!
Until next time.
Now I'm even older than I was then. In May of 1995, I weighed 364 lbs. Then I had weight-loss surgery. The Roux-en-Y gastric bypass procedure. It was great! Unfortunately for me and the surgeon, I'm too smart. I passed their little psychological test that said I knew this wasn't a cure-all for my problems and that I had to learn healthy eating habits, exercise, blah blah blah. Except the "secret" me didn't believe that I guess. After a year, I had lost about 130 lbs. I never did start a fitness program. The man I loved came back from a mission for our church in August 1996. We had a brief courtship where I drove him insane and forced him to marry me in June of 1997. Here we are 9 years later and I weigh more now than I did before the surgery. A lot more.
Obviously, I am not happy about this. I am so screwed up that even though I had lost that 130 lbs. and seen people I went to high school with that didn't recognize me I looked so different, I still couldn't go through with attending our reunions. You can imagine how messed up I feel now! Then there's the mental health issues that I struggle with. Part of it's hereditary (my family tree is full of nuts!), part of it's because of my weight, and part of it is... the luck of the draw? I don't know. At least I don't smoke or feed my kids Pine-Sol laced applesauce, right?
So here's the plan. I've actually admitted to people other than myself how rotten I feel. How scared I am. How ashamed...
And here's what I'm going to do about it:
1) I am absolutely, for real this time, NOT going to eat at fast-food places, ever.
2) I have joined an online weight loss community called Spark People. I have some friends there. We motivate eachother.
3) I have to move it, move it. McDonald's gave me their Cardio DVD when I bought their Asian salad last week. Sure, it's only 15 minutes. But the sad truth is, I'll be lucky if I can last even that long.
4) Honey and I are going to do "the Hundred" every night right after we put the kids to bed. I'll probably do it a couple of other times during the day, too. But once is all I'll torture him with.
That's probably all I can handle.
I don't care who reads this. But my shame is so great right now that if you happen to be an immedate family member of mine and stumble across this, I will disown you if you mention it to me in person. If you feel the need to randomly complement me, however, please... be my guest!
Until next time.
