The Fatty Chronicles

I've decided to become as HCFS (high-fructose corn syrup) free as I can. I believe strongly in the "think globally, act locally" mantra. I started by giving up soda, and I'm moving into other realms. HCFS is a super-sweetener. The less you need of an ingredient, the more powerful it is. You could think of it as you might heroin, for instance. The more you use, the more it takes for you to get high. We no longer crave the sweetness of fruit for dessert, we want super-sweets!

"You must be careful how you walk and where you go, for there are those following you who will set their feet where yours are set." - Robert E. Lee, Civil War General

Well now that's a scary thought! Or is it? The reasons for my being fat are many. If my children become fat, there will only be one: ME. They watch what I do. They eat what I eat. They want what I want.

I must have done something right with my firstborn, he eschews sodas & snacks for healthier things. Given a choice between french fries or a side salad at the drive-thru, he'll pick the salad. My other two sons go for the fries and soda (or chocolate milk) every time. They've been watching me a little too closely! Aside from wanting to lose weight because I am disgusted with what I see in the mirror and how I feel physically worn out every day, I want to set a good example for my children. I don't want them to struggle as I have. So I finally gave up soda for good. In the last 4 weeks I have broken down and had it 4 times, but aside from the time where I had none for 2 years straight, this is the best I've ever done. And it hasn't been hard. Just expensive! I've started buying flavored waters and other drinks to treat myself, and my husband noticed. He's proud of me, but more than that, I'm proud of me too. Now, if I can just get my younger ones to follow suit...

Well so far, things are getting better. Except for this stupid cold I have. Although, I don't know if it's really a cold since all I have is extreme facial congestion. Anywho... I think my "bad" streak has run it's course and the horizon is in view again. I know it sounds weird, but I finished a novel today and I suddenly feel invigorated in other areas. I haven't felt this way for a long time, and I think it has something to do with having completed something (the novel). Isn't that weird?

Today's quote is:

"You never understand a person until you consider things from his point of view." - Harper Lee, Writer

As I pondered how this particular quote applied to my quest, I came up with this thought:

*I found an article in the July 2006 issue of Prevention Magazine about a woman who had shed 218 lbs. with the support of her husband. The man didn't just say nice things to her, he helped her make the change. He gave her what she actually needed, not what he wanted to give or thought she needed, for her to succeed. I think it takes real insight to have some semblance of what a person is going through. You may not struggle with your weight, maybe your addiction is to something else, and knowing how hard it is for you to cope with your demons can give you inspiration on how to help someone else.

That's all for today, kids!

One of my favorite sayings from the Anne of Green Gables miniseries is: "Tomorrow is fresh with no mistakes." Thank God for that! Last week was a banner week for me, in the WRONG kind of way. I've been feeling very blue, very quietly pity partying, that kind of thing. So of course, I made all kinds of bad food choices, which made it worse, you get the idea what happened.

But tomorrow is fresh with no mistakes. And I've renewed my contract with myself to make these changes for the better. I flipped out last night that my kids might not grow up without a mother, without me, and I know that making and sticking with these changes is the only thing I can control about that.

So here I go, again, and I figure if I keep going at it... one day it will stick! On a lighter note, I did lose 3 lbs. from the last time I had weighed myself before that, but I'm pretty sure I gained that back. But maybe not. We'll see!

"Hard work spotlights the character of some people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." - Sam Ewing


Sorry am I to say that I frequently turn up my nose or not at all. Losing weight is SUPER hard work, but I asked for help from Heavenly Father and this time I recognize where I've gotten it. I have had no desire whatever to eat out at fast-food. It has not been hard for me to give up drinking soda. And when I went to the GYN today? I've lost 3 lbs. since the last time I weighed me! I feel real good now. Real good. I'm watching my damn Netflix movie tonight if it kills me as a reward! (Failure to Launch, fyi)

"Some people are carbon copies, other people make their own impression" -Church signboard in Arizona

I hope I am more than a carbon copy of anybody! A lot of people see me as loud and stubborn. I am, and I'm not really interested in changing, either. I look and sound so much like my mother, I feel like I have to fight with everything I have to be myself (whoever that is!). My mom is a good person. Her good qualities way outweigh the things that bug the crap out of me about her. But I'm not her, I'm me, and it's important that the distinction be made.

I haven't been doing great with my goals, but I haven't completely failed, either. I've given up soda except for medicinal purposes. You know, nothing fixes a raging headache better than a nice, syrupy Coke. And I haven't moved on to the physical part of my journey yet, but I'm getting there!

Last night I found a scale that will (ALMOST) weigh me. I have probably 15 lbs. to lose before I reach the maximum it will read, but that's no biggie. Maybe by September I'll be able to use it, I hope!

I was reading in this month's Ensign (available here) about putting off the natural man. Wow. What an appropriate subject for me! It gave me a thought I'd never heard of before, and yet helped me to understand a great deal about myself.

Elder Melvin J. Ballard (not Russell M.) said that "all the assaults that the enemy of our souls will make to capture us will be through the flesh, because it is made up of the unredeemed earth, and he has power over the elements of the earth. The approach he makes to us will be through the lusts, the appetites, the ambitions of the flesh."

That statement right there has helped me more than anything else I've ever heard about addiction (mine being to food).

Any thoughts to add?

Well, I haven't written much on my progress lately because I've been on vacation for the last 3 weeks. But I'm back now and happy to report that I am doing pretty well, I think. No soda for 3 days now. Haven't made it to the workout part of my goals but I did just get back so I think I get a little slack. For some reason, I recieved a pedometer in the mail while we were gone (I think because I subscribe to Prevention magazine) and amazingly enough, it's pretty accurate. So I'm going to start wearing that, too.

I'm so tired I don't know what I'm saying right now, but in case anyone reads this I didn't want them to think I abandoned the Chronicles. Oh no. We're here to stay.